My China Experience part 10

My second week of teaching is under way. I’m not sure who is more excited…them or me. Two days before class, I try to prepare what I hope will be an interesting and informative class. I tried something new yesterday. What am I saying….EVERYTHING I try here is new, at least to me it is. I’m still working on the newness, the shyness of many students. It is very difficult to get them to volunteer in class to speak. One or two always volunteer, but it’s not those I am concerned about, as I’m sure they will do well. It’s the others I need to work on. I came up with a list of short statements such as:
1 ___________________ has a phone number ending in 5.
2 ___________________ has two younger brothers.
3 ___________________ rides a bicycle to school every day.
Then I asked them to find out from their classmates the name of a student that does each statement on the list. I told them it was OK to get up, move around and talk to everyone in the room. Ready…GO. I was caught a little off guard. No one moved, not at all. A few turned to the one next to them and mumbled a question, but that was all. Oh my god, this is a flop. I have to try to save it. I walked up to one student, took her by the arm and walked her around the other side of the room to another student. I then introduced them as a first time meeting…Bill meet Jane, etc. Now ask each other the questions. I looked around, and a few started to move a little, then looked at me for approval. When they saw me smile, it was off to the races. They all got up, mixed, mingled, talked, laughed and really got to relax and know their classmates. It worked better then I imagined. I expected them to get one name to start each sentence. Many got 2 or more names for each one. They had to talk to each other to get this. I loved it and by the laughter, so did they. I could not stop smiling. I gave them 30 minutes for this part of the project. The first hour was almost to our break time. I asked a few how they liked this and all were smiling and said they loved it. RRRrrrrrrrrrrrringgggggggggggg….break time. After break took one of their papers that had the most names for each statement. I called on the person listed, and asked them to say “Hi, my name is (their name) and I ride a bicycle to school every day, or whatever the statement was. All of the students were listed at least one time, and a few were listed several. One young man was on this list 7 times. After I had him read a statement 3 times, the students got the idea he was listed a lot. These kids watch me so close, after the third time, all I had to do was look at him ever so slightly, and they knew it was his name AGAIN and they all laughed. By the 4th time I stopped calling his name. I just looked his way and he stood and finished the statement like on auto-pilot. This was the best class response so far. I am SURE I will use this tactic on all my classes and save it to use next year too.
One of the biggest complaints in class is from the girls, that the boys are too shy and don’t get involved enough. When it gets close to a break or end of class, I like to get them to ask a few questions to kill the last 5-10 minutes. Some times they do and some times they don’t. When they don’t, then I have to find a way to kill time. I started what I called the “Dating Game”. I’ll ask a girl if she has a boyfriend or not. Almost all say no. I’ll ask a boy if he has a girl friend. Again, almost all say no. I’ll motion for that boy to come to the front and talk with me a little. Everyone chuckles a little. As we talk, I’ll ask if he knows that girl with no boyfriend. He blushes and says she is my classmate. I motion her to the front and now everyone is laughing a lot. I introduce them as if they just met, make a few minor jokes and the class is in an uproar. I get these two to interview each other and then later, tell me about the other person, not about themselves. This forces them to listen to the other person and understand them. Then I ask them to stand and tell the class about the other person in their own words. This forces them to practice oral English, as well as to think about what to say. It is not scripted in any way. This is working very well too. I have to adjust this part a little because my classes consist of about 6 boys and 29 girls in each class +/-.
This is the week that all Freshmen arrive on campus for their first time. They are very young and very inexperienced. Some Sophomores and other upper classmen are assigned to take a few and show them all around, the library, their dorm room, where classes are, etc. I have between 4-9 students from each class this week missing and on this project. I was walking on campus around 6 last night and I heard a big group talking or more like answering, all at the same time. I saw a large group of Freshmen all in a uniform, all in formation, being spoken to by one person. Too bad I could not understand what they were being told.

Last week I found out I had a problem. I gave my passport to my contact at the Foreign Affairs Office at my university so he could get me that Resident Permit I needed to stay here legally. Well, he finally said the Police were finished and we could go get my passport and the permit. Off to the police station we go. I was told the fee was 800 rmb. I watched my contact person hand the officer less then 800. as we exited the building, he handed me 400 rmb back and said it was less because it was for less then 1 year. I was happy for the ½ price blue-light special, and said, now give me my passport too. He did not. He said let me make a copy and I’ll bring you your passport in 30 minutes. My hand was 6 inches from my passport. I wanted to just grab it, but thought, no…be nice. I tried to tell him that I make better copies in my apartment so let’s go there. He declined and said he would be there in 30 minutes. Trying to maintain diplomacy, I said ok. I wait ½ hour…nothing. Another ½ hour, still nothing, so I left for dinner with a friend. As we returned to my apartment, I saw a large “open” envelope that was slid under my door and lying on the floor. Looking inside, I saw 2 sheets of paper, copies of my Resident Permit and a copy of my Foreign Expert Certificate. Oh yea, I forgot to tell you…I am NOW a “foreign expert”. Can you believe that? A lifetime of “hey yooos guys” and “me and da bois” and now I’m an Oral English expert.
There was no passport in the envelope. I figured he wanted to hand it to me in person as this document is so important. Without my passport and resident permit, I cannot go home, or almost anywhere outside of Zhengzhou. I cannot stay in any hotel or take a plane. Next month from October 1-7, it’s a big holiday here. It’s their National Day, the equivalent to our 4th of July. A pretty big holiday to get seven days off (with pay). I had planned to go to Xian to photo the Terra Cotta Warriors there. That is so big and beautiful, it should be the 8th wonder of the world. Look it up on the Internet. It’s really interesting. The next day I call my contact and ask for my passport. He hesitates, then laughs a little, not a funny haha laugh but a slightly nervous I pray to Buddah you are kidding kind of laugh. Now I’m nervous. I told him there were 2 papers in the envelope but that’s all. He said look again. I said it was a regular 8x12 envelope with no hidden compartments or trap doors, that is except for the completely open top which I saw when it was slid under my door. He stopped talking completely. I could FEEL the blood drain from my head, like I was going to pass out. I was not sure if in my semi-passed out stage if I would fall to the floor or kill the guy who lost the most important thing I have over here. He said he would look again in his office and for me to look again real thorough in my apartment on the floor, in the envelope again, in my couch seat cushions, etc. I told him, how the hell is my passport going to jump from the OPEN envelope you slid under my door an HOUR after you said yo would be here, to under my couch seat cushions? He could not explain that part, but as nervous as I was, I actually looked there. I called him daily, but no luck…my passport was GONE. Three days later I still had no good explanation as to what we would do and exactly when. He has wanted me to come see his office ever since I’ve been here, but I keep refusing since it’s on the 5th floor and no lift, er, ah…I mean elevator. Now I’m very angry. Mr. Nice Guy is about to leave the building. I walked up the 5 floors to his office. I don’t see him so I just walk and look. People are staring at me and I don’t even ask directions, I just look in every office. ¾ the way around that floor and I hear his voice in the office ahead on my right. He’s talking with a co-worker of his. I just stand in the doorway and silently stare at him until he notices me. His lower jaw dropped to his shoes and his eyes got as big as fried eggs. I think for just a moment, he actually was able to read my mind, and realize how close he was to being a “test apple” for Isaac Newton’s gravity theory from the 5th floor. I told him I wanted to talk to his boss now. He lost all the blood from his head and got a little shaky. He said she was not in now and pointed to a closed office door. On a hunch, I asked him if he even told her about the passport he lost? His face was as gray as the sky here in Zhengzhou and he got real fidgety. His lower lip quivered and finally a word came out….”no”. My “cool” has thawed. I told him very clearly what I wanted and when it would be done. I had looked at the American Embassy web site and found my passport had to be replaced in Beijing…..in person. Beijing is a 7 hour train ride from Zhengzhou. The web site told me exactly what I needed to do and what to bring. I had my contact go to the local police station and report my passport officially lost. I took the original report and gave him the copy. I had new passport photos taken to bring with me. The passport takes an average of 10 days to complete. I figured if we leave Thursday night on an over night train with sleepers, we would arrive there Friday morning, and be at the Embassy at 8:30 when they opened. Ten days for processing then I would get the school to pay for over night shipping to me in Zhengzhou. That would give me 2-3 days to arrange my trip to Xian. To travel by train here, you need to book the tickets 3 days in advance as they fill up very fast. I told him to buy our tickets Tuesday morning and we could leave Thursday night. Wednesday night he had still not bought the tickets. I was furious. He tried to tell me there were only hard seat available for the trip and it was a terrible way to go. I told him, if he knew what I was going to do to HIM, that IT was a much more terrible way to go. The soft sleeper tickets appeared. He said his Uncle worked at the train station and arranged for the tickets. I told him I did not care if Moses had to part the sea for us to get there, just as long as we did. He looked baffled and I knew he was unaware of the parting the sea comment.
We arrive at the train station….almost. we are actually standing in front of a store, in front of the train station, he says to wait for his Uncle. 15 minutes or so and here he comes. He walks quickly and we are to follow. This looks like the strangest entrance to a train station I ever saw. This was much more like a back way in. Up this alley, cross here, don’t step on the train rail it may electrocute you. It’s pretty dark here and getting darker all the time. You have to be a bat to see where we are going. After 5 minutes of what looks to me like spies avoiding the secret police in many movies I saw, he says we are here. HERE?? Where the heck is here? There are no people around, I mean none. He opens a door to a building and this look a little like a train station waiting room. There are several rows of big, wooden benches and 3-4 men sitting there spread out. He tells me this is employee waiting or break room. A few more men come and go. All of them carry the same tool. It’s a strange looking hammer of some sort. A little longer then most, with one side a flat striking surface, but the other a semi-pointed shape. It strikes me a little odd they ALL carry a hammer. I’m told they are the train maintenance people. I’m thinking that no matter what breaks, all they do is hit it with a hammer?? My nervous trip, train from hell, butterflies in my stomach has just risen a notch more nervous. 30 minutes there then all of a sudden we are up and running again. Actually they are running and I’m more hobbling along trying not to get lost in this train yard that looks like it’s right out of an old spy movie. All of a sudden we walk around the front of a train and there are people. Lots of people. We walk along the train as we have to meet someone to board us and assign a sleeper where I’m sure they were all sold out. We walk the whole length of the train to meet this person. That was about a 100 car train and I’m tired. My legs hurt and I’m soaked in sweat. Now he says for us to follow this new guy. He starts walking back the same way we just came from, about ¾ of the train back toward the front. We meet another person in this “train” of events and after a few more minutes we board. Do you think we are sleeping in the car we are standing in? Think again. We start to walk car by car, down very narrow hallway towards the back of the train AGAIN. The Boston Marathon has nothing on this journey. I’m real tired now and look like I just climbed out of the swimming pool with my clothes on. There are a lot of people in the hall way. The hall is very narrow. If I walk straight on, my shoulders actually almost touch both walls at the same time. Some people are standing in the hall. There are very small folding seats scattered along the hall in all the cars. There are people sitting on those also. Every person I pass, I have to face the wall and flatten out to squeeze by them. There has to be 50 people in each hall of the whole train. After the third leg of my “lets go see the whole train” excursion, we arrive at our sleepers. I have never been on a train or in sleepers either in America or in China, not until this very moment. I stood at the door and looked in for a few seconds looking left, right, up and down. Does the term “sardines in a can” sound familiar? This room (?) can’t be more then 6 feet wide, 7 feet deep and 8 feet high. I was half expecting to see bunk beds, two to a room for the trip. I never in my life expected to see “TRI” beds, that’s three high, one set at each side of this shoe box. That’s six (6) people in each room. There are no doors on the rooms and no doors or curtains on each bed. That third bed was so high, all I could see was the person’s feet disappear into the darkness as they climbed towards their bed. God help us if anyone falls out of the bed from that altitude. Privacy was sure not to be found on this train. It was almost like sleeping in the barracks we had in the military, but these were vertical. I start to settle in as the train begins to move. I have heard so much about high speed train travel in China, I want to see it. Remember I said privacy was not on my train? Well neither was high speed. This train traveled the first 30 minutes at about 20 miles an hour. For god’s sake, a moped can do 30. An Olympic runner has been clocked at 19 on FOOT. I know trains stop occasionally, but this one stopped every 20 minutes. Most times a few trains would pass us, but a few times 10 trains would pass, most going very fast, at least 70 miles an hour. I asked many people before the trip how long to Beijing. All said about 7-8 hours by train. Well, they must have meant any train except this one. We took almost 12 hours to get there. I knew the Embassy opened at 8:30AM and closed at 12 noon. We arrived in Beijing about 8:30. I told my companion we had to go to the Embassy NOW, first, then we can do his business in Beijing. He assured me his business would take 5 minutes total. All he had to do was hand someone some money to purchase life insurance on several high ranking University employees getting ready to travel to Russia. We would then go straight to the Embassy. Down in my gut, I just knew I should not do it his way. Trying not to cause a problem, I agreed to 5 minutes his way first. We get to the Visa building in Beijing where everyone who is Chinese who want a Visa to any country for any reason, has to come here. We wait 20 minutes for his contact to show up. Right there goes the “5 minutes” he said it would take. He gives him the money and the guy goes into this building. About 10 minutes later, he returns. It seems he cannot get the insurance here any longer. Now my guy has to go around this very big building on a very big block, and buy the insurance elsewhere. He says he will return ASAP. It’s been an hour now and I’m getting short on time and more angry. He leaves and says for me to wait here as he can run faster alone. I agree. After 40 minutes I send him a text message saying I am leaving here in 30 minutes with or without him. I will go to Embassy alone and return to Zhengzhou alone. In 29 minutes he comes running up to me as I was leaving. I had already found someone that spoke a little English to with for me in Chinese 2 phrases in Chinese. One was “take me to the American Embassy please.” The other was “to the train station please.” I was going to grab the first taxi I saw and begin my own journey of the lost souls. We get a taxi and tell them we want the American Embassy. I even have the address and a map showing it. I showed it all to the driver. We got close, then lost. He could not find the right street or entrance. Around and around…getting later and later. We finally get the street, but it’s closed to vehicles. Walking traffic only. We get out of taxi and walk. I was more like hobbling. The first level of security says it’s getting late, I better hurry. I just look at my companion and scowl at him. Closer and closer. Now the next level of security. Another check point. I.D., drivers license, birth certificate, etc. they let me pass but not him. They tell me go to end of this road and it’s on my left. I do exactly that. I enter that building, get metal detected, x-rayed, de-cell phoned and de-camera…THEN I’m told I’m in the wrong building. Exit here, turn right, at corner right again, then 250 meters and it’s on my right…you can’t miss it. Whenever I’m told “you can’t miss it”…I always do. I did manage to find this one. Once again….x-ray, metal detector, take my cell and camera. Out THIS door, turn right, at the end take a left, then a left again. I’m having my doubts. I get there at 11:15 and there is a Marine in a glass walled, bullet proof and looking bomb proof room. I give him my Florida I.D. He looks at it and says “hi neighbor, I’m from Ocala. It’s getting late. You should have been here at 8:30 this morning for this. You better really hurry.” By now I’m wanting to choke the @#$%^ out of my companion for making me so late. I get to the window and I show her my paper work. One form I need was not listed on the web site. My photos I brought that were ok for my first passport was not acceptable now. The police report I had made in Zhengzhou 2 days ago was not the right form and of course not acceptable. She hands me a list, a map and the missing form and tell me to get this all done and be back at 2PM and don’t be late this time. The urge to choke my companion returns. I walk about 1 mile getting out of the Embassy grounds and meet my very soon to choked friend. We grab a taxi and we are off again, this time running all over Beijing trying to get this all done. Beijing is a VERY big city of about 20 million people. Taxis travel between 25 mph and zero with all the traffic. I have now officially threatened the life on my friend and assured him I will carry out the threat if necessary. I think he believed me. One hour and 55 minutes later we return to the Embassy. I get into the office, have all the right paper work and pictures. I hand it all in and she says “ok, it will be ready in 10 days”. I tell her ok, and I will pay extra to have it shipped over night to me in Zhengzhou. She takes a deep breath and holds it like not wanting to say the next sentence. As her face turns a shade between gray and blue, she tells me that is not an option. I tell her to send it the fastest way possible please. She says again, “that is not an option. I don’t think you understand, but you must pick up the passport in person in 10 days.” The urge to choke someone comes back again. It must happen to her often because she is behind thick glass too. She wants me to return to Zhengzhou, wait 10 days, then return to Beijing and do this all over. Now I’m turning a shade of gray and she tells me to sit a moment. She says if I wait, I can talk with the vice consul and maybe get an emergency passport issued faster. I remember the web site said it was slightly possible, but too 3 days. He comes to the window and we talk a little and I explain my predicament. He says if I can wait, he will issue me an emergency passport. I said if the wait is less then 3-10 days, I’ll be happy to wait. He smiles and says wait here please. At 4:30 he brings me an emergency passport and I sign it immediately. He smiles and says he was happy to help and he will help me again when I come back. I paused then said…”come back?” Oh yes, this passport is only good for 1 year instead of 10 years. I’m torn between feeling real good that I have a passport, and real bad that I have to come back and do this again within 1 year. I settle for the good feeling and depart. After I leave the compound, I get my camera and cell back. As a parting memento, I want to take a picture of the American Embassy sign on the outside of the gate. As I raise my camera, place my finger on the button, and several armed marines come running at me yelling to not take the picture. Let me tell you from experience, when several armed Marines with terrorist thoughts on their minds come running and yelling at you the blood completely drains from your head and swell your feet, hoping to give you a better base to stand and not fall over in fear. All I can say is “yesyesyes..whatever you say…DON’T SHOOT.” Another slow trip to Zhengzhou and as the train arrives, I think to myself….it’s good to be home.

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